The Life and Times of Me

I wish someone could answer the question; why are you doing this? in the mean time; clam the fuck down

cardsbyharris:

How about you?
Cards By Harris Adult Cartoons

ruinedchildhood:

American Police VS UK Police

ultrafacts:

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i want…. no need this

ultrafacts:

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i want…. no need this

oh you best believe 

oh you best believe 

Last night I dreamt I had a message in my inbox. sigh. it was just a dream

ultrafacts:

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14th century fuck the police.

ultrafacts:

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14th century fuck the police.

oh the first day of school

oh the first day of school

So is living with your "soul mate" as good as u thought and are they still your soul mate?
Anonymous

I’m a pragmatist by trade. I never had any fairy tale illusion about us moving in together. I don’t talk about it alot but I was married for 3 years so this it’s old salt for me. My expectations for this venture were, increased income, increased expense, increased sex. So far all these things have come to pass. And yes she’s stool my soul mate. No one’s come forward with a compelling argument why she’s not or that they are a viable alternative. And with romance like that, only a soul mate could put up with it

Change isa comin

Well I haven’t even been at work for 3 month but thanks to my awesome work ethic, superior intelligence, masterful organizational skills and my high level of humility, I applied for and got a new position at work. Thank you, thank you, oh yes thank you. This new position comes with a raise. Though i’m not really worried about that. The only thing ill see from that is higher numbers in the city, state, and federal tax columns. What i am excited about is the fact that this is a central stepping stone position that opens up all the other positions, including management or main cash handler. The only problem is that its on second shift. My least desired shift of the three. So for the foreseeable future im gonna miss everything. I’ll hardly see my daughter. I’ll be at work when she gets out of school. I can’t help her with her homework. I won’t be taking her to karate. And any school functions. Forget about it. I almost turned down the job because of this. But I decided it would be worth the temporary setback. Two steps back and all. Also I won’t be seeing much or my girl. But whats new huh. But on the plus side, instead of sleeping in the morning from being on third. i’ll have all morning to myself. Which means more witty and informative post and reblogs from me (yes. yes. You can all stop flooding my inbox now)

On the home-front. things are going well so far. There’s a little tension between my ma and girl. Anyone surprised by that? Yea. Thats what i thought. You know how male bears are solitary creatures that cause trouble when they are around each other. Well human females should be the same way. Well my ma is perpetually cold and my girl is perpetually hot. So they go back or forth turning on and off the air. All I care about is the electric bill as they turn it on and off. 

Speaking of bills. I brought this up jokingly in a previous post, but i an very concerned about the toilet paper budget. Its only been two weeks and we’ve already went through 3 rolls of tp. Three rolls could last me till October (And that’s factoring in explosive diarrhea, blowing my noise, and needing to get a quick one out if I can’t make to the bed). But no. At this rate the 24 pack will be gone by the end of the month. And I don’t want to hear nothing about having an extra hole. What the crap are you’ll wiping? Your uterus? This isn’t your grandmother’s tp. We have 2/3 ply, super soft, absorbent, quilted and all that other marketing crap to choose from. 6-8 squares max is all you’ll need. Not the half a roll you’ll use. I mean seriously you’ll women be wrapping tp around your hands like you’re putting on mma tape. But other than that, I’m cautiously optimistic. The real test for me is when bills start to come out. If that electric bill is too high, that air is going off and take your butt up to walmart for some free air. And if that water bill is too high, they better that all those dirty clothes out the lake outside and let the ducks do some dry cleaning.  

What Would You Do? Bike Theft (White Guy, Black Guy, Pretty Girl)

Totally shocked by this outcome

shizukasmack:

therevtimes:

No. 168 “The Unarmed” 

Rest In Peace…

to Michael Brown, John Crawford, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Renisha McBride, Oscar Grant, Sean Bell And the countless other lives that have been taken away from this world due to prejudice.

And an honor to the many people in Ferguson standing up, fighting, hoping that some kind of justice can be had in the midst of chaos.

How's living with the woman
Anonymous

so far its going well. we havent spent a lot of time together (which may or may not be a good thing) as our work schedules still conflict. We only have a few hours a day together and different days off. I’ll have to wait till the moving dust settles and the “newness” wears off to really anwser that question 

Settled in yet?
Anonymous

I’m settled in enough. I’m so sick of boxes and moving. Packing and unpacking. I’m done. I’m tired, I’m sleepy, and I’m hurt. I’m not going anywhere for a decade. And if I can’t pay my rent, they’re gonna have to throw me out on my ass because I’m not packing and moving again.