The Life and Times of Me

oh i wish camera phones existed when I was young. how many sd cards would i have filled if I did this throughout my life when this happened to me. the funny part is they all think they are being so slick, but they are just as obvious as this lady. 

well…. my faithfulness is assured. Unless……..

any sugar mamas out there? heyyyyyyy girl

seeing this picture, I used to think about touching all that ass. Now when I see it, I wonder if i’m touching that dirty money in her crack. Occupational hazard I guess. 

seeing this picture, I used to think about touching all that ass. Now when I see it, I wonder if i’m touching that dirty money in her crack. Occupational hazard I guess. 

majQa’

majQa’

Whats up guys. i’m not doing to good today. my cheapness is acting up in my bones. its hard to pull out the credit card. hurts my hand. what caused the flair up? I went school supply shopping today. (old man voice) back in my day, all we had to bring to school was a pencil, a trapper keeper (had better been a cool one) and some paper. Now we have to buy everything but the desks (yes we pay for the books). So im in the special section of the store they put all the school supplies in and i’m looking through the list and realize how much bull this is. I’m sick of buy for the whole damn class. Ayn Rand is turning over in her hellish bitch grave right now. This isn’t kindergarten anymore. Buy your own glue stick. And why can’t they use the regular (cheaper) elmer glue. Like we did as kids. Worried about a mess? Oh don’t worried you’ve got two (count um two) boxes of wipes from every student plus another two boxes of tissue. Crayons and markers. Ok i got the off brand kind for a dollar. But why on earth does every 2nd grader need their own dry erase marker? One set for the entire class. Are the schools not teaching sharing? So i go the mess. Then came to the freaken pencils. My cheapness was flaring up throughout: $4 for glue sticks, $2 for washable markers, $6 for the dual pack of wipes. But I was holding it together till i got to the pencils. The list said a 20 pack of sharpened pencils.What?! Are kids too stupid to sharpen their own pencils, or to lazy? Or are the schools just so broke they can even afford the old green sharpener on the wall by the door anymore. So I look at the pencils: $4. 4 f**ing dollars. Oh i couldn’t take it. My heart. My cheap, cheap heart nearly gave out on me. Thats .20 cents a pencil. Those suckers better be made from spruce or pine or some mess. Whats .20 cents you say? well to compare a bag of unsharpened pencils cost .96 cents. That’s .04 cents a pencil. I bet if you drove by two gas stations and one was .16 cents more than the other, You’d be going to the cheaper one. My path was clear; buy the cheap pencils and sharpen them myself. Plus that poor strapped for supplies class would get four extra pencils. everyone wins. But nooooo. My mom, miss im not actually buying anything, kept pestering me, and pestering me, and pestering me some more. After about 5 min, I said screw it and got the stupid pencils. Those stupid, stupid, stupid pencils. Stupid.

also anyone know what the crap are budge and puls & kidd and glwacki spiral wide rule notebooks. I’ve never heard of them and i can’t find them online. is it a brand? a type? what? 

when i heard this, i immediately thought of my girl 

(p.s. shout out to amazon for having her album for $3)

What happens to your online accounts when you die? what about your email account and all those photos stored online?

This is something we all need to think about.

What happens to your online accounts when you die? what about your email account and all those photos stored online?

This is something we all need to think about.

every guy in there owes that hero a drink 

every guy in there owes that hero a drink 

insanelygaming:

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Created by Jonathanjo

Tumblr. I choose you!

did not see that coming. very sweet

did not see that coming. very sweet

Oh no

I’ve lost like 3.78% of my followers this week. I had just gotten enough to get a second page on the followers list. Now it’s gone. So before you’ll leave me all alone, why not send me something. A question, a statement, a picture, an exposition. Anything. Go on anon or better yet don’t. That way I can answer privately if you want. Come on people. You’ll are always sending stuff to girl’s blogs. You’ll want to see my boobs? I’ll show them to you. Anything. Just love me!!!

So the time had finally come. My work on my day off had brought me close to the area starbucks. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Not since that time I went to the virgin music store.

Long ago. last century: it was a dark, barbaric time. People were forced to drive to a physical location (with gas costing $1.19) to buy music. An entire store as big as a woolworths (ask your parents) filled with nothing but cassettes, cds and records. it was daunting to say the least. I was never one of those people that browsed music stores and just tried out new unknown music what with cassettes costing $10 and cds pushing $20. um no. But i wanted the new spice girl cd (yea i said it) so i went into the store. I was out of my element and had to partake in… human interaction. I asked the store clerk where the cd was. I tried to play it off like I was getting it for my little sister (i don’t have one). Surely a hard core og like me wasn’t down wit no spice girls (i don’t know what that phrase means but i heard it on the rap masic). He didn’t buy it. He saw right through me. Oh the shame.

well if it was so bad, why didn’t you just buy the cd from amazon?amazon’s a book store. why would you even try to buy music from a bookstore, stupid. 

Now all these decades later, I had the same feeling. They knew I didn’t belong. The smelt an outsider. A weakling separated from the pack, ready to be pounced on. But with age comes wisdom. This time I came prepared. Before I left home, I did my research at their website and wrote down what i wanted. I remembered my girl had ordered something with vanilla in it and it didn’t taste half bad. So knowing that I went up and ordered. One grande caffe vanilla frappuccino…. (hold on. hold on. the name still going. i gotta rest for a min) blend with 2% milk and whipped cream (I could see the diabetes dr picking out his new boat). I gave her the coupon and the card and she gave me my drink. yea baby! I did it. I did what 12 years do multiple times a day. And I did it like a boss. Yea! Who wants some? Who wants some of debo?

Also the drink wasn’t half bad. I might get another. I think I get another free coupon on my birthday. 

yes canada. you are the only ones left in the world with some sense 

yes canada. you are the only ones left in the world with some sense 

lenadirscherl:

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by Lena Dirscherl  [Website] // [Blog] // [Facebook] // [Twitter]