The Life and Times of Me
How the fam? Still getting married?
Anonymous

man idk know who everyone is doing. between work, sleeping for work, thinking about sleeping for work, and the constant headache this moving process has become, i don’t have the time, money, or motivation to do anything. Do you know there’s been some days I haven’t even gotten on tumblr. that’s what my life has come too. i’ve seen my girl like once this month and that was to exchange paperwork for a rental application. That’s it. That is it. I haven’t even kissed her, much less done anything else (you’ll know what that means: lets just say the tissue and lotion is not packed). So if jerry springer has taught me anything, that means that right now shes in the arms of another man, or a man hating, man looking lesbian (you the ones that want all men dead, give other lesbians, feminists and short haired women a bad name). Her birthday is coming up in like…. next week. I was gonna take her on that romantic getaway i won, but that’s not gonna happen. And with this moving mess up in limbo, i have no idea how much money i’ll have to give her a gift, so there’s that. life seems to be pulling us apart. But like they say; you have to take that step back to make that leap forward. 

I LOVE MY MAN’S WEDDING OUTFIT. I just found what i’m gonna wear.

I’m just joking yall, saydan is on me

lolfactory:

Canada during The Purge.
☆ funny tumblr

lolfactory:

Canada during The Purge.

☆ funny tumblr

the orginial catfish. janet jackson or freddy jackson

the orginial catfish. janet jackson or freddy jackson

bralessbilliam:

Because Boobs.

The answer to 80% of all life’s question. Try it out.

bralessbilliam:

Because Boobs.

The answer to 80% of all life’s question. Try it out.

me looking for a place to move. and yes, I no longer have irises

me looking for a place to move. and yes, I no longer have irises

Moving day

Moving day getting close. What’s that? I’m moving? First you’re hearing about it? Yea, usually this is exactly the type of life event I would be posting here. But where as normally I write to relive stress, this whole process has been so unnecessary frustrating that writing about even heats the blood.

I was gonna write about all the troubles i’ve had so far, but as I sit here thinking about what to say, I’m finding myself progressively getting more pissed. So here’s the cliff notes version: it’s been a two month (and counting) process for something that should have taken two weeks. To find something that suits everyone, I’m way over budget (like $200). My girl is talking about cable providers. Between the rent, extra gas to get work, increased medical costs, and a food budget to feed four people. Idk how I’m gonna afford the necessities much less hbo. No one but me seems to be factoring in startup costs. Transfer service fees. New startup service fees. Leftover fees from the old place. Equipment for the new place. We haven’t needed a lawn mower this century, but gotta get one now. Moving equipment. Oh sure there’s always a cousin uncle with a truck. But lets be honest. Extended family is about as reliable as the post office. Maybe everything will align perfectly but more than likely you’re gonna miss your window and have to wait till monday. Time is a factor here and I just don’t have enough of it not to have a backup.

My mother is a Jr horder. I can’t seem to impress upon her that we won’t be having the two large and a walk in closets plus extra storage at the new place. Yet still she has bin on top of bin. Box on top box full of junk. Shoes and clothes she’s never even wore. Dishes we’ve never used. Stuff that she had forgotten she even had. But now all of a sudden its important to her. Yea i’ve found stuff of mine that’s been here since I first moved in, but you know what I said to all that junk. Trash it.

TRASH IT ALL……..

oh i wish camera phones existed when I was young. how many sd cards would i have filled if I did this throughout my life when this happened to me. the funny part is they all think they are being so slick, but they are just as obvious as this lady. 

well…. my faithfulness is assured. Unless……..

any sugar mamas out there? heyyyyyyy girl

seeing this picture, I used to think about touching all that ass. Now when I see it, I wonder if i’m touching that dirty money in her crack. Occupational hazard I guess. 

seeing this picture, I used to think about touching all that ass. Now when I see it, I wonder if i’m touching that dirty money in her crack. Occupational hazard I guess. 

majQa’

majQa’

Whats up guys. i’m not doing to good today. my cheapness is acting up in my bones. its hard to pull out the credit card. hurts my hand. what caused the flair up? I went school supply shopping today. (old man voice) back in my day, all we had to bring to school was a pencil, a trapper keeper (had better been a cool one) and some paper. Now we have to buy everything but the desks (yes we pay for the books). So im in the special section of the store they put all the school supplies in and i’m looking through the list and realize how much bull this is. I’m sick of buy for the whole damn class. Ayn Rand is turning over in her hellish bitch grave right now. This isn’t kindergarten anymore. Buy your own glue stick. And why can’t they use the regular (cheaper) elmer glue. Like we did as kids. Worried about a mess? Oh don’t worried you’ve got two (count um two) boxes of wipes from every student plus another two boxes of tissue. Crayons and markers. Ok i got the off brand kind for a dollar. But why on earth does every 2nd grader need their own dry erase marker? One set for the entire class. Are the schools not teaching sharing? So i go the mess. Then came to the freaken pencils. My cheapness was flaring up throughout: $4 for glue sticks, $2 for washable markers, $6 for the dual pack of wipes. But I was holding it together till i got to the pencils. The list said a 20 pack of sharpened pencils.What?! Are kids too stupid to sharpen their own pencils, or to lazy? Or are the schools just so broke they can even afford the old green sharpener on the wall by the door anymore. So I look at the pencils: $4. 4 f**ing dollars. Oh i couldn’t take it. My heart. My cheap, cheap heart nearly gave out on me. Thats .20 cents a pencil. Those suckers better be made from spruce or pine or some mess. Whats .20 cents you say? well to compare a bag of unsharpened pencils cost .96 cents. That’s .04 cents a pencil. I bet if you drove by two gas stations and one was .16 cents more than the other, You’d be going to the cheaper one. My path was clear; buy the cheap pencils and sharpen them myself. Plus that poor strapped for supplies class would get four extra pencils. everyone wins. But nooooo. My mom, miss im not actually buying anything, kept pestering me, and pestering me, and pestering me some more. After about 5 min, I said screw it and got the stupid pencils. Those stupid, stupid, stupid pencils. Stupid.

also anyone know what the crap are budge and puls & kidd and glwacki spiral wide rule notebooks. I’ve never heard of them and i can’t find them online. is it a brand? a type? what? 

when i heard this, i immediately thought of my girl 

(p.s. shout out to amazon for having her album for $3)

What happens to your online accounts when you die? what about your email account and all those photos stored online?

This is something we all need to think about.

What happens to your online accounts when you die? what about your email account and all those photos stored online?

This is something we all need to think about.